I Am A Skinny Bitch: Lies and Also Lies

If asked if they are beautiful, only 4% of women say "yes".

6 out of 10 women believe that they would be happier if they were skinny.

We believe that the less space we take up the more we are worth--
Be believe that life for thin women is a marshmallow dream.
All things are achievable in the privileged Land of Thinness.

Skinny bitches...

I am a skinny bitch.

I am 102 pounds with my boots on soaking wet.
I have a 24" waist.
I wear an A Cup bra to feel like a big girl.

And I wear a size 8 shoe in case you were curious...

Why am I telling you this?

As a skinny bitch, I need you to know:
my skinniness didn't get me a job
my skinniness does not attract the kindness of strangers
my skinniness does not make me good at math
my skinniness does not make me a better singer
my skinniness doesn't help me make friends
my skinniness does not make people take me more seriously
my skinniness has not allowed me to travel
my skinniness has not made me richer or wiser
my skinniness has not improved my relationship
my skinniness does not pay my rent

Why is that? Isn't that what we are supposed to be? So scarce we are practically two dimensional? The epitome of what we can achieve as women?

6 out of 10 women believe that they would be happier if they were skinny.

As an expert skinny bitch, I need you to know
 that my dress size and happiness show no correlation.

As a skinny bitch I am still talked down to.
As a skinny bitch I am still turned away.
As a skinny bitch I am still harassed by strangers.
As a skinny bitch I am still belittled and then objectified by my employer.
As a skinny bitch I still have to clean up vomit and take out trash.
As a skinny bitch I have moments, days, years when I feel ugly.
As a skinny bitch I still suffer the embarrassment of being asked why my art is so "angry".
As a skinny bitch my hair still has a weird wave on one side so I shave it off.
As a skinny bitch friends still abandon me.
As a skinny bitch I still have to pay off student loans.
As a skinny bitch I still fail. Often. Epically. Routinely.
As a skinny bitch I am no less afraid than anyone else.

In fact in many cases I am too skinny: disgusting, anorexic, boyish, unsexy, underdeveloped

"You look like a hot dog."
"You're pretty for a boy."

Why am I telling you this?

Come into the fort, kittens.
I wanted to tell you The Skinny Bitch Myth is a lie.

Thinness, fatness, thickness, longness, richness, bigness or litteness have exactly nothing to do with happiness
or smartness
or couriousness
or stylishness
or inventiveness
or brillianceness
or inovativeness

"Nesses" mean nothing if we don't Love ourselves.

Kindergarteners know that, Molly...
Do they? Do they know that?
We don't act like we know that.

We have to love ourselves.
We need to love others who love themselves.
Our survival depends on it.

Magazines will not love us.
Movies do not love us.
Commercials do not love us.
Commercials selling us a man to love us do not love us.
And if we cannot be gentle with ourselves--
or celebrate ourselves
Real People won't be able to love us either--

Not because we are not Worthy of Love,
but because when we resign to depression and disorders we cease to exist. 

Be happy not because of the circumference of your thighs:

be happy because you are gifted
be happy because you are strong
be happy because you are hilarious
be happy because you are well read
be happy because you smashed the ceiling
be happy because you are talented.
be happy because you finished the record, published the book
be happy because you've created a family out of friends.
be happy because your hair is fucking perfect today.
be happy because you know better.

and I will be happy with you.


refeathered said...

You know that I hear a lot of the same comments about my size, since we are like the same person. :) After thinking for a moment, I realized I had 3 comments on my size just this week. 2 came from total strangers!

Speaking of kindergarten...I have girl in one of my classes who likes to dress herself. Leopard print is her favorite color. While on lunch duty she mentioned she liked my hounds-tooth skinny jeans. "My mom says I can't wear skinny jean, I don't have the right shape, but that's okay because we all have different shapes, and different is beautiful. Besides I tried skinny jeans and they made my butt look wrinkly. No. Thank. You. Who wants a wrinkly butt? No me. Besides I like my leopard leggings better."

Boho mom said...

Ohhh you gorgeous brave skinny bitch!! I adore you!!
I was always less than 100lbs soaking wet as well. Even after I had my daughter, I walked out of the hospital carrying my hatchling and wearing my skinny jeans and got snubbed by the nurses, let me tell you!
I was teeny forever until hatchling turned about 5 years old, then metabolism began to slow, and let me tell you, putting a few pounds on - I felt better than I ever had. While still small, I do have to watch what I eat if I don't want to pack on a lot of extra weight.

Moonflwr912 said...

Molly, you are beautiful. So am I, and, of course, outside we couldn't be more different. Well, except for the A cup, right now, I can't even fill that! LOL. But, bright, sparkly, talented, intelligent, and creative? Yep, that's me too! Thanks for the reminder, we all need reminders sometimes.

Priti.Lisa said...

Smart as you evah was! ♥

Amelia Star!!! said...

Awesomely awesome, as always kitten face.
At the other end of the scale, (ha!) I know your feels, I'm in a good place now, a nice supportive community helps alot, the people around you must be nice people, otherwise, find new ones! :) (I know this Now..)

Kudos a plenty to you beautiful soul, thankyou for sharing your heart and dimensions, we are all thinking, breathing, feeling, heart-filled monsters and all deserve love.

I had a thought the other day, that spiritually speaking, this body isn't a "this is what I am" it's a this is where I am, and or when I am. It's my lovely vehicle to feel and swim and make love and cry, but it's not who I am :D

love you lots xoxox
hope the healthy lungs are going well too! xxx

Anishinaabekwe said...

Skinny hate is real too! People don't know your story and that hurts too. I struggled with an eating disorder for 6 years after I quit running cross country and track in college. I have been recovered from my eating disorder since 2008.

I am le petite! I have my own personal campaign called - Love Your Body Campaign. Its really helped me heal and love the skin I am in!


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