When my heart is heavy I head to the water front. I comb the weeds and rocks for trash and trinkets. It's been a growing time.
A time where I want to be alone--
I wandered around the bleached out branches and soggy rocks, pretending it's another planet without voicemails or the weirdness that comes with the week. A planet where you can hear yourself think:
Thinking about the things I need, the things I want and the difference between them. Thinking about Stuckness and patterns, about how quickly people change or don't change at all or why certain people are allowed to exist.
Thinking about prayer: I remembered reading that prayer is really about being quiet enough to let another voice in...
I sat for a long while with the sun warming my back and my feet touching the water, letting luke warm waves lap up on my skin. Taking time to be held by it. After some time, a quiet voice that wasn't mine came in:
Things are made.
Things wash in and are pulled away--
And that's natural.
Healing is also part of nature.
You just have to allow it to happen.
It was so simple, but it's what I needed to hear. I realized how dearly I had missed that voice and remembered it will come anytime I ask.
As I climbed down from my perch, I came upon a perfect little skull sitting on the pebbles--light as a feather and cleaned by the sun. A sign that SHE was speaking to me and meant what SHE said.
A talisman. A reminder that even after the mess of the little death
there is beauty.
Wishing all of you the healing you need right now, kittens.